I woke up after a disturbed sleep to find my wife not by my side. I sprung up from the bed to find the brush with the paste on it, a steamy aromatic coffee on the tripod and neatly folded paper under it. I had the shock of my life as it was a letter handwritten by my wife and it said
I couldn’t digest da, after me showering so much of love and making a lot of sacrifices for you, you still had a deficit which made you forget the love I had for you. I haven’t been possessive but definitely can’t accept your love flipping during sad times da. My mind doesn’t let me stay there with you. I love you and staying there might force my mind to start hating you. I don’t want to hate you da as I know that you truly loved me. Hope god and our love get us back together. I shall love you forever Arjun. Find where you have buried the love you have had for me. Rake it up. The day you find it, there can be none who can occupy your heart but me.
Your love forever
I was shattered and torn into pieces when every word in the letter caressed me with the love she had for me even after me betraying the purity of her love and trust. I was pleading to the heavens to get her back and the guilt my action had created was churning my stomach and bleeding my heart. I had dropped the precious crystal ball of love which she held at the pinnacle, just for satisfying my male chauvinist ego. The bleeding heart pounded to say that I loved her; I love her and shall love Maya forever.
I hadn’t got over the shock the morning had brought up and the guilt was throwing me incidents, of the love we had for each other. We fell in love during our 11th grade, did our graduation together despite she getting a better university. We even worked together for a few years and had let go of lot of career opportunities just to stay with each other. We neither valued money nor our career but something that had the greatest importance was our love for each other which grew stronger as every day passed. We had a lot of obstacles starting from her family who were against it. She came a long way sacrificing her family which she valued a lot. She had never regretted facing all those difficulties as it was for me. That was the love she had for me.
Today, she neither has her family to go to nor me. I have betrayed her and have made her search for solace in some corner of this world.
She had told me in the letter that only god and love can get us back. Me being an atheist, prayed to god fervently for the first time with utmost faith to give me the strength to get Maya back. I took my bike and went looking for her in her work place and failed to find her. The constant calls made to her mobile were just wasting the battery charge as there was no response from her side for the ringing phone. The heat was just playing against me but the urge to get her back was just pushing me forward. I went to all corners of the city during the day without water or food but with a lot of determination to get her back. After all the searching I did, I returned back home dejected thinking about what had happened because of the unforgiveable act of mine.
The house looked like a graveyard and I was nothing but a lifeless body which was moving around in the house. We used to eat dinner together as each one used to wait for the other one to join, however late it might get. Today, I wasn’t in a position to eat dinner alone as I couldn’t manage life without her. I forced myself to have something for having some strength for the next day’s search.
Before getting to bed, I called her again with no use and I finally sent her a message telling her the pain I am going through and the darkness that has come about in my life because of her absence. I conveyed by a message that I have been looking for her on the highway (the one which she loved to go for a drive with me), the railway bridge where we used to go every year on our wedding day (the place where our love started), the park in which we used speak our heart out and so many other places which had seen our love blossom into a beautiful flower.
I laid down expecting some information to come up from her as I knew that she wouldn’t punish me more than what she had done during the day by her absence. I sprung up every time my mobile made some noise. After an hour of waiting, I got a message from her which read
“I can understand the pain you are going through da. I am safe da. Take a break and I too need a break da.I shall be home soon. Miss you da. Pray to god to do the best da. I still love you.” – Your Maya
I got some relief that she was safe but the expectation to see her and seek for forgiveness was growing. I was just looking at the mobile in hand through and through expecting something to come up from her. After two days of depressing survival without proper food and sleep, I dozed off in the night without my knowledge.
I woke up after hibernating for 12 hours to find the brush with the paste on it, a steamy aromatic coffee on the tripod with another hand written letter under it which read.
“Good morning da. Waiting for you in the balcony.”
I rushed to the balcony and stood still, a foot away from her but it was if she was light-years away from me. My eyes conveyed my love and the pardon I sought gushed out a tear that trickled down my eyes and crushed my male ego and the tight hug she gave me said it all.